And...they're off!

This is not the way I pictured it. 

I'm talking about my life as Eric and I approach our Twilight Years. Which are really more of a pale yellow at this point, but that's not important right now.

Here's how I pictured it:

My kids would all be grown and gone. I have never had any illusions that they'd stay home forever. That would be just plain weird. 

But I did picture them living nearby. And they'd be coming over for a weekly family dinner. And we'd sit around the table and I would bask in the love and fabulousness of the beautiful family I'd created. And we would grow. And the table would stretch to accomodate more. It would all be super noisy and delicious and there would be lots of laughter and smiles.

And that would be how Eric and I would live out our Twilight Years. Happily surrounded by our growing family and maybe investing in a bigger table.

But obviously God (and my growing family) have other plans for this whole Twilight Years business.

As you know, Amy Kikita moved to Florida last year. See this post about Changes. I wrote about all that last August and now, just recently, there have been so many more changes. Which is where I find myself today - thinking about all of this and questioning my Twilight Year Plan.

From that writing to now, Amy has landed a job in Sacramento, California. 400 miles away, but now she's at least on our coast and is only a one hour flight away. She's busy shopping for an apartment and furniture and settling in to her new (from the sound of it) Hipster lifestyle. 

Adam has taken a job in Washington D.C. with the Susan B. Anthony List. I'm quite excited for him as this is a great opportunity, but of course, that means he is clear across the country. Alysha and the baby are still here as he looks for a place to live, but they'll be leaving in about a month. I will miss them terribly. Especially my grandson, Asher.

However, we are happily offering our babysitting services as often as Alysha will let us.

Lucy moved out last September (see this post about Finding Her Place) and is adapting well to her new digs. She's also only a few minutes away right here in Mission Viejo, but she's busy starting her own graphic design business, so I have to bait her with use of my washer/dryer and food. It's working so far. (Food always works.) Who knows what her next adventure will bring?

Jonathan is in school and going from audition to audition, which means driving to Hollywood a few days a week. Some days I'm lucky enough to be called upon to be his carpool buddy. But I'm picturing the day he needs to move up there permanently. For now, he's still here with us.

But who knows for how much longer?

Here's how I'm dealing with all of it...

The weekend that Adam was set to leave, I bought Amy a plane ticket to come down and scheduled a family photo shoot and going away dinner. 

I contracted our friend and Master Photographer, Dan Shalaby to document the magic and we spent a few hours down at our favorite beach frolicking and posing. Or photobombing. Or just having fun together.

I just wanted one last hurrah before everyone went their separate ways.

Many Cuban mothers take issue with their kids moving away. I swear, I thought I'd totally be in that category. Until now.

Now, I'm just embracing the moments as they come. So grateful that we live in the age of Skype and FaceTime and texts and emails and Facebook and Instagram. (Also, I'm Smrtqbn on Instagram if you want to follow me.)

I love that they have developed their own relationships with each other. I'm no longer the glue that holds them together. Even though I am the one who insists on the photo shoots, but that's not important right now.

I'm grateful that they're all so much fun to be with and I'm looking forward to reinventing myself. 

I still can't get enough of my grandson, Asher. But that's the general consensus around here. That kid is seriously well-loved.

So I'm working on accruing miles on my Southwest credit card and making plans to travel more often this year and thinking big thoughts about what I'd like the next chapter of my life to look like. 

And truly, Eric and I are happy in this season. It's taking some getting used to not having all the crazy around all the time. But it's really good. We are delighted for all of their success. And grateful for the quiet days. 

As far as my Dinner Table Fantasy goes, I had them all with me right after the photo shoot. We went to our favorite Cuban restaurant (of course) and it was all super noisy and delicious and there was lots of laughter and smiles.

And I thought to myself, "I really am the luckiest."

My Big, Fat, Cuban Family is 8 Years Old

I sat down at my computer 8 years ago today and started crafting my very first blog post. I wasn't quite sure exactly who I was writing for, but I tentatively introduced myself and my family to cyber-space.

I crossed my fingers and hoped that maybe somehow, some way, someone out there would read the stories about my extraordinarily ordinary life and maybe enjoy what I had to say.

I was homeschooling both Lucy and Jonathan at the time and started over sharing about what our days were like. I reminisced about my childhood in Cuba. I posted photos. I told my tales of growing up Cuban and wondered if they were just going out into the ether. 

I decided early on to write to please myself. Not trying to sound self-serving here, but writing about my life and the things I care about is a very personal and vulnerable process. Also, I have a tendency to crack myself up, but that's not important right now.

To date I've written over 1400 posts and have had almost 2 million visitors. (GUAT?) Obviously, someone out there has indeed found me (or they just keep forgetting to write down my picadillo recipe).

And oh-so-much has happened in my life these past 8 years. I'm so glad to have had a place to document the little things and the Very Big Ones. And I'm grateful to all of you for following along. This has been such a cathartic experience for me. Would you believe me if I told you that at first I was very much afraid? (Obviously, I'm over it now.)

My family has been truly amazing these past years for putting up with me as their lives have been so publicly showcased, without a word of complaint. And of course, you know that I now have a grandson, so the over sharing will very likely reach stratospheric levels. Be prepared.  

Please join me today as I celebrate 8 Years in the Blogosphere. (<--is that a word?)

There are times I do better at self-disclosure than others. There are times when my real life gets so busy that my cyber-life has to take a back seat. But I have always enjoyed the process of sitting down to the empty page and hoping what I have to over share amuses, entertains, enriches, inspires, or just makes you think.

I'm grateful to those of you who have been faithful readers for these many years. I'm delighted to have found an audience, who, like me, are lovers-of-all-things-Cuban or you're just my friends and are gracious enough to read my stuff. Thanks, guys!

I hope to be over sharing (si Dios quiere) for many more years.

Hey! According to Dictionary.com, "blogosphere" is totally a word. So there's that.

Here's a quick photo recap of the cyber-celebrations of previous years. Also, I really want you to appreciate the whole I-made-a-custom-magazine-cover thing I do every year.

October 1, 2007 - Thank YOU.

October 1, 2008 - In my dreams...

October 1, 2009 - ... is a Magic Number

October 1, 2010 - Cada Dia Con Marta Maria

October 1, 2011 - Five.

October 1, 2012 - Celebrating Six Years in the Blogosphere

October 1, 2013 - Seven Years.

Last year I even managed to create a celebratory video. And, okay, so I didn't do one this year, but I totally wanted to. (Shut up. I know.)

And because I can't just celebrate and not give you anything (I think that's a Cuban thing), in celebration of my 8 years here in this space, I'd like to do a few giveaways in the coming weeks, so stay tuned!

Today, I'd like to do a giveaway for 3 (three!) of my Comida Cubana (Cuban Food) Posters. I have one hanging in my kitchen and it makes me super happy (and super motivated to cook) every single day. 

It's a beautiful 16x20 poster with all of my favorite Cuban foods, suitable for framing. Fabulous, no?

To enter the drawing for a chance to win one of three Comida Cubana Posters, please leave a comment on this post and answer the following question:

• When and how did you find My big, fat, Cuban family?

I'll choose a winner on Friday, October 3rd, 2014 at 11 am PST.

Thanks for reading and for putting up with my over sharing and being so willing to engage in my "relajo" 

Changes.

My four kids have always been in super different places in life, which has always kept our lives interesting.

I remember when Amy Kikita started college. It was the same year Jonathan started Kindergarten. Yeah. Kindergarten and college. With Lucy in grammar school and Adam in high school there was never a dull moment around here. 

Change is inevitable. Kids grow. They go out into the world to find their fortunes. They meet other people. They make new friends. They have adventures. They find their way in the world and add different kinds of cares (good and bad) into our lives as parents. 

So I mark the passage of time as I always have, by the ages and activities of my children. Eric and I find ourselves navigating some challenges that we hadn't experienced before. But that's what keeps life exciting, right?

And, yes, our kids have always been in different places, but this season totally wins as far as the most diverse changes for all of them. Read on.

Amy has moved to South Florida. Specifically to Hialeah. With nothing to hold her here in Southern California, she has struck out to find adventure in Hialeah to get her Cubanity on. She has a job, an apartment, and a car. We text multiple times a day, but even at those times, I'm acutely aware of the distance between us. I miss her desperately. (Shh! Don't tell her.)

Adam has ventured into marriage and fatherhood. He and his wife, Alysha live near us and we have the good fortune to see them on different occasions.

As you can see, our dinner table is still quite full. (Also, I'm trying to master the art of picnicking, but that's not important right now.) The faces around the table are changing. And I'm not just talking about the extra wrinkles that are adding *ahem* character to our faces.

Eric and I celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary on August 8th. We had a lovely, quiet dinner and recapped all of our adventures. We agreed we would say, "I do" all over again. We also decided that quiet and calm may be over-rated. We have also categorically reserved the right to change our minds.

I took Lucy to San Francisco to celebrate her 21st birthday. We saw all the cool spots in the city and even had a cable car adventure. All the while, I kept hyperventilating when I remembered that my daughter was now 21. "Deep, slow breaths, Mom."

Jonathan started his first week at the local community college (where Lucy is employed, by the way). He is taking theater classes and also going out on lots of auditions in Los Angeles. I'd tell you what exactly he's been doing, but then I'd have to kill you. 

Jon's first day of school photo

Last week, Adam and Alysha were blessed with the birth of their baby. A beautiful boy. My son has a son. Making me an abuela. (I had a dream in which the baby called me, "Wella." I'm going to go ahead and go with that.)

People, meet my grandson, Asher. I think this guy has changed my life forever.

So many changes. 

In between all these milestones, I've made dinners, and done loads and loads of laundry. I've visited my 100 year old mom, and gone swimming in pools and at the beach. We've hosted lots of outdoor movie nights and have attended concerts and baseball games. 

I know this post sounds like somebody's annual Christmas newsletter, but guys, this only encompasses the last 6 weeks of my life. 

A few months ago I might have said, "I hate change." But now I embrace the many and varied happenings and simply say, "Bring it." 

Life is in session. Amen.

Cooking on a Budget - Pastelitos de Guayaba

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I have perfected the simplest recipe for making pastelitos de guayaba (Cuban guava pastries) at home.

Porto's, which is the closest Cuban bakery to us is still miles and miles and a half day's road trip away. So, when the craving for pastelitos hits, I just make my own. It happens a lot more often than I'd care to admit, but that's not important right now.

The pastelito recipe is in my cookbook, of course, which, if you don't already have it, you should get it, because you're being supportive and everything. (Was that the weirdest, clunkiest sentence ever? Yes, it totally was.)

Me and my cookbook. Photo Credit - TRProz.com

Anyway, my good friend, Carlos de la Vega who is one of the co-creators of the show "Wassup En LA?" and is a whiz with graphics and video has recently been a bit obsessed (in a good way) with making my pastelitos at home. 

'Wassup En LA?' co-creators Rudopho Zalez and Carlos de la Vega crushing on their copies of "My Big, Fat, Cuban Family Cookbook."

So much so, that he has created a most awesome video sharing the ease and magic of how to make your own DIY pastelitos de guayaba a la Marta. Also, here's the recipe:

Marta's Homemade Pastelitos de Guayaba

This is the first in what promises to be a really fun cooking series, "Cooking on a Budget. How to make Pastelitos de Guayaba."

Please notice my Naturally Curly Self at about the 1:18 mark. (Thanks for the shout out, Carlos!)

You didn't really believe homemade pastelitos were this impossibly easy, did you?

There's probably other things you don't know about Cuban Cooking. Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Click on the image for the link to My Big, Fat, Cuban Family Cookbook. Buen Provecho!

A Match Made in Cuban Coffee Heaven

You know how much we Cubans love our cafecito.

We also love lattes and cappuccinos and café con leche. Any iteration of coffee will do for us.

There's even a subset of us that just love our Americano. All that to say this: We love a cup of strong coffee any way we can get it. Particularly a shot of hot, sweet espresso.

In light of that I'm super pleased and very proud today to welcome my newest sponsor to My Big, Fat, Cuban blog Family:

Café La Llave!

If you click on the link just to the right, you can get an extra 20% off of the best coffee around. (For the record, my favorite is Don Francisco's Family Reserve, but that's not important right now.)

Also, if you're not already following them on Facebook, you totally should. Here's the link: Cafe La Llave on Facebook. They're always doing fun contests and giveaways. Tell them Marta sent you.

Thank you again to the Gaviña family for partnering with My Big, Fat, Cuban Family. We are a match made in Cuban Coffee Heaven

.

The Best of MBFCF in 2013

I'm looking at my calendar and it's already the 8th day of 2014. I was planning on taking a few days off at the beginning of the year and wow, did they go by quickly!

Come to think of it, 2013 feels like it went by pretty quickly also. Is it just me, or is this one of those things people tend to repeat a lot as they get old? Shut up. Don't even say it!

This past year has been quite eventful in lots of ways, which makes me happy that I blog (and scrapbook) because I would otherwise forget the thoughts and events and conversations I've had this past year. I know. There's that getting old thing again. Stop it.

Here are the top posts for each month of 2013. (Time is seriously flying, isn't it?)

Drum roll, please.

1.The Things I Didn't Blog About in 2012 - Luza - in which I confess my growing discomfort with my mom aging and how our roles are shifting.

2. #LookAtMyFood in which I continue to overshare what exactly I had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner via Instagram. (Also, if you don't already, you should follow me. I'm Smrtqbn.) I'm really very good about sharing my food.

3. Cuban Word of the Day - in which I share my delight at being honored by the wonderful artists from Wassup En LA? in their Cuban Word of the Day segment. (Technically it was 3 words - Pastelitos de Guayaba - but that's not important right now.)

4. 99 Red Balloons in which I share how we celebrated my mom, Luza's 99th birthday. Cute video attached to that post, too.

5. Ahora Sí! in which I tell about the night I finally got to meet Andy Garcia. (I know. I still can't believe it. Pinch me!)

6. Hello, Outdoor Movie Nights - in which I list all the great movies we have to choose from for our Summer Backyard Movie Theater. Also, it always marks the official beginning to our summer. And this pleases me greatly.

7. "If you build it..." - in which I celebrate the wonderful farmhouse table that my kids built for me.

8. Hurry up...and wait - in which I tell the story of Jonathan's first acting job in a feature film. (Now that I told you, I'll probably have to kill you.)

9. We Visited Coffee Heaven and Lived to Tell the Tale - in which I describe (in great over-sharingly detailed detail) our wonderful visit to the Gaviña Coffee plant.

10. My Big, Fat, FROZEN, Cuban family - in which I gush (yes, there's gushing) about my day at the Walt Disney Animation Studios and the making of the animated feature, FROZEN. Also, the Disney Animators made me a personal video which totally put me over the edge.

11. ALL the Picadillo at the Blurb Books Food Fair in which I share about my visit to San Francisco and how I got to cook for lots of hungry book buyers. Also, there's a very cool video they did about me and my picadillo.

12. Cuban Picadillo Pies^® - in which I developed a new and fun way to eat and share picadillo. (<--also, what a weird descriptive sentence that was!)

Thanks to all of you who have been faithfully following MBFCF for all these years or who have just found me in the last year. I write this blog mostly for myself, so it genuinely pleases me when you respond so generously to my over-sharing.

Also, did the year just fly by for you, too? (I know. Old. Shut up.)

Happy New Year, my friends!

I talk about Cuban food. A lot. Listen in.

I had the privilege of discussing my love affair with Cuban food and how my family and I celebrate Cuban holiday traditions on Silvio Canto Jr.'s Blogtalk Radio show the other day.

This is what I looked like. (Don't judge.)

If you want to hear what I sound like, you should click on the following link. I swear, I sound much taller on the radio. (Be kind.)

Check Out Food Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Silvio Canto Jr on BlogTalkRadio

ALL the Picadillo at the Blurb Books Food Fair

I am a Cuban mother. And I cook. I love that I get asked to cook at different foodie-type events. See here. I always love doing those.

But the real story is that I basically like to eat Cuban food, so I cook it. And I have a family to feed, so they appreciate that I cook. Also, I really enjoy oversharing, hence this whole blog thing. So, in a nutshell, I cook Cuban and I share my food and I write about making and sharing Cuban food.

I know that not everyone wants to print out every single recipe I have (and, believe me, it's all really good), so I've collected my favorite recipes along with the stories that go with them into a you-can-actually-hold-it-in-your-hand cookbook.

I self-published my first collection of recipes and called it My Big, Fat, Cuban Family Cookbook through Blurb Books. I have made other personal books with Blurb and the quality is always wonderful. Publishing with them was a fabulous experience. I highly recommend them. Also, you should totally get my cookbook!

Last month, Blurb hosted a group of us foodie/cookbook/bookmakers for the Blurb Book Bash in San Francisco.

When I arrived at the Blurb offices I met the photo and video crew who would be filming me all day and can I just tell you that I fell in love immediately. Plus, they totally made me feel comfortable in front of the camera. I felt like I was just telling my story to friends.

Let me give a shout out right here to the fabulously talented folks at TR Proz for the gorgeous photos and video. You made me look so legit. (They also very kindly mentioned me on their blog. Thanks, guys!)

I cooked picadillo, people. Lots of it. Which meant lots of sofrito and lots of meat and lots of my favorite spices. Look at me go! I was a picadillo-cooking fool!

ON A SEMI-RELATED, BUT TANGENTAL SIDE NOTE: My eyes disappear when I smile or laugh. It has been like this my entire life. I still remember school photographers telling me to smile and then scolding me for closing my eyes. "No! They're open! I promise you!" These guys just let me be me. I'm so grateful for that.

Look at ALL the picadillo.

This beautiful video will give you a feel for how much fabulous food and fun was to be had at the Blurb Book Bash. (Look for your favorite Cuban Food Blogger at about the 17 second mark.)

These talented folks followed me around all day with all kinds of cameras like I was "somebody." (It was kind of surreal and totally awesome all at once.) The other author/foodie/bookmaker people who were also featured were quite talented and I was humbled to be included in this amazing group.

They interviewed me. I like to talk anyway, but let me tell you that it's weird seeing yourself talking (so much!) on camera. And I knew that I talked with my hands, but wow! I didn't know I was so....what's the word? Expressive.

I explained how much I love my Cuban culture and how I've tried to pass that on to my kids via our music, our language and of course, our food. I shared how family and food have always been intertwined for me. I talked (and demonstrated) the beauty of a perfect sofrito.

I'll be completely honest here, I was nervous about how I would come across on video, but you know what? This is me. This is how I look and how I sound. (Also, I was having a really fantastic curly-girl hair day, but that's not important right now.)

So here's Marta Darby, Cuban Cook. Unplugged.

Of course, the video happens to catch my weirdest face for the still. *sigh* So, I'm not quite ready for the Food Network, but then....maybe they're not quite ready for me.

Leave a comment and tell me your thoughts. Be kind.

Also, here's the recipe for Papi's Favorite Picadillo.

Thanks again, Blurb Books and TR Proz for an absolutely wonderful time.

Seven Years. (MBFCF Giveaway WEEK!)

You know that I'm all about celebrating.

Big events. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Summer. Dinner. I believe in celebrating. Often. And well.

Today marks my 7th anniversary here in this space. SEVEN.

My big, fat, Cuban family is 7 years old today. And so I'm celebrating. *fires off the confetti canon*

But first you have to sit through the usual recap of my 7 years in the Blogosphere. 7 years, people! I totally deserve a party. Or at least a recap. But before the 7 year recap, how about a celebratory video?

Yes, I think a video would be perfect. Enjoy!

Did you know I also have a YouTube Channel? I know. The over-sharing never ends.

Also, if you're following me on Instagram, you'd recognize that most of my life takes place at #CasaDeLaLoma. I'm Smrtqbn, by the way. (See what I did there?)

Year One. October 1st, 2007. I was delighted to have found my voice and an audience.

Year Two. October 1st, 2008. I was taking care of my family and sharing the stuff I had cooked. And people liked it. Who knew?  I also wrote a cookbook that year, which gave me something to give away. And so the giving away commenced in earnest.

Year Three. October 1st, 2009. Three years? I was amazed that I had been able to keep at it for so long. And I fell in love with you, my readers. Always kind and ever gracious. I felt like I had won the lotto.

Year Four. October 1st, 2010. I could have graduated from an institution of higher learning with a degree. Bachelor's in Bloggology?

Year Five. October 1st, 2011. It was a rough year, filled with some physical challenges, but then I became the "little Cuban that could" and just kept right on writing. (<--That last bit took tremendous grammatical focus, as do most of my blog posts, but that's not important right now.)

Year Six. October 1st, 2012. Six years. Add lots of great experiences and some amazing blog-friends later, I was still standing. Seriously so much to celebrate.

Which brings us to today.

Year Seven. I am so very grateful that I get to write and you are still there, reading and sharing your lives with me. You get my sense of humor and you seem to enjoy my writing style.

I have met so many of you in person and I'm always amazed and humbled by your enthusiastic response to whatever silly things I'm up to. I enjoy hearing from you on Facebook and Twitter and (even if I don't respond right away) I love receiving your emails.

And yes, of course I'm going to get to the giveaway, but first I want to say thank you. I would not be doing this at all if it wasn't for my awesome online and (for some of you) now real life friends.

Thank you. From the bottom of my big, fat, Cuban heart. Seriously. Thank you.

You may have noticed that I've changed up the banner up on top there and added color. It makes me happy and I hope you'll enjoy the things I've got coming up this year.

I have so much to celebrate!

In fact, I'm going to be celebrating ALL WEEK. From today, October 1st, 2013 through October 7th, 2013.

Seven glorious days and seven fun-filled nights of celebrating that I've survived and possibly even thrived right here on the internet. For this next week I've lined up some wonderful Cuban friends that I've met because of my blog who have graciously agreed to sponsor some very cool giveaways every single day for the ENTIRE WEEK to celebrate each of my SEVEN bloggy years.

I can officially call this MBFCF Giveaway Week! (7 days and all that...) Yay!

To kick things off - here's MBFCF Blogiversary Giveaway #1

My Big, Fat, Cuban Family Cookbook

An autographed copy of My Big, Fat, Cuban Family Cookbook. I know. Shut up.

Leave a comment on this post for a chance to win my cookbook and please answer the following question:

• When and how did you find My big, fat, Cuban family?

I'll choose a winner at the end of MBFCF Blogiversary Giveaway Week on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013 at 11 am, so you have lots of time to enter.

Thank you again and let the celebrating begin!

21 Things I Know For Sure (with 37 years of experience)

Today I mark the 58th time the earth has gone around the sun with me on this planet. All that to say this: today's my birthday. My 58th birthday.

It seems I should have, at this point in my life, acquired some wisdom to share. Or I could just write down some random thoughts...

21 Things I Know For Sure About Myself:

1. People always respond best when I'm authentic.
2. I'm much better, smarter, funnier than my inner critic gives me credit for. (I wish she would just SHUT UP sometimes, but that's not important right now.)
3. I will never really enjoy broccoli, no matter how much cheese sauce is on it.
4. A fresh mani/pedi always makes me feel good.
5. No matter what I achieve in life, I'm a thousand times more proud of my kids' accomplishments.
6. Marrying well was the smartest thing I've ever done. (I love you, Eric Darby.)
7. I must have coffee. Every. Day.
8. I don't feel completely dressed unless I am wearing jewelry and lipstick. (Is that a Cuban thing?)
9. I'm fiercely proud of my Cuban heritage and my big, fat, Cuban family.
10. I appreciate my friends immensely.
11. The smell of sofrito (sauteed onions, bell pepper, and garlic) is the most welcoming smell there is.
12. If it's in my power to do something for you, I will.
13. I take pictures every day.
14. I cry at the same parts of the same movies every time. ("I'll take the ring to Mordor. Though I do not know the way..." ~Frodo Baggins)
15. I am always reading 3 or 4 books at a time.
16. It's hard for me to keep quiet sometimes. (Okay. A lot of the time. Shut up.)
17. When I look at young people, I try to imagine what they'll be like when they're old.
18. When I look at old people, I try to imagine them when they were young.
19. I'm super analytical.
20. I live by the following mantra: Food must be delicious.
21. I love social media & technology. I'm glad to be living in this age.

All those things are true about me and I suppose I could write another 37 to get up to 58. But I'm kind of lazy sometimes. Ooops. I guess that one didn't make the list...