Our motto? Laugh. Eat. Play.

The kids are out of school and in this part of the country it's like a feeding frenzy trying to get kids signed up for "camps."

Yes. That's the hip thing to do.  (of course, I am anything but hip -  sigh)

If you don't know how to just be with and enjoy your child or help them entertain themselves for the summer, you sign them up for "camp."  (Not a criticism, just a fact in my South Orange County white-bread world)

They can choose soccer camp, sailing camp, movie making camp, swimming camp, acting camp, art camps, theater camps, etc. Not only that, but a parent could easily spend thousands for that happy and memorable experience for their child. And you usually get a cool camp shirt, too. Good stuff.
I'm thinking that with those extra thousands I could be saving here, I can buy that little Mac Mini beauty and maybe just come up with some clever ideas for "camp" myself.  ;-)

I'm thinking theses could be really fun:

• Surf camp (for sure, Dudes.)
• Painting
• Cooking
• Swimming
• Stargazing
• Science
• Scrapbooking
• Movie Making
• Teen Fitness
• Sewing
• Improv - definitely
• Then of course, there are movie nights. I'm thinking a Danny Kaye film festival. (or maybe the Marx Brothers?)

I have tons of ideas for these and more.
Let me let you in on my secret:  I'm just pretty darn childish myself. 
Seriously. I come up with ideas for stuff I'd like to do and suggest it to my kids.

I've pretty much got all the resources I need including the willing victims students campers.

The truth is that we do something like this every year.  We like to call it. . . "summer."  ;-)

Now all we need is a cool camp song. . . hmmm. . . =D

57,000 words

If you've been following my blog, you know that Lucy has been busy writing a novel. The original plan was to write it in 30 days, but when the month of April was over, she still had more story in her.
So she kept at it and kept at it. I need to just insert here that I was in Miami all last week and that now I have pneumonia, and there are no substitute teachers in homeschooling. This is completely her deal. 

She finished this afternoon.
57,000 words.
No, I don't know what it's about. No, she won't let me edit or even read her first draft. 
She's waiting for it to be published and then she will sign the first edition for me. That's her plan.

I guess I'm just a wee bit insecure.
I'm a little worried that her working title is something like:  Maps of Cuba on the Wall - or what it's like to be raised by a Loony Cuban Blogging Mother.

I guess I'll just have to wait for that first edition. =D

Leaving a Legacy

My mom taught me how to cook when I was about 8 years old.  She taught me how to read a recipe, measure ingredients, grease a pan, boil water - stuff like that. As I got older, the process became a little more complicated.

During the summers, my sisters, Miriam and Alina, and I would take turns cooking.  We rotated between table setting, cooking and doing the dishes.  We each took 2 nights and my mom cooked on Sunday. It was the same way my grandmother had taught her and her two sisters about hospitality and cooking and the importance of service in the home. 

The rules were that we had to make up the menu, including dessert, find recipes in any of her cookbooks, make a shopping list of ingredients and check to see what we already had in the cupboards.

We went to the grocery store on Friday nights, shopping list in hand, and learned how to tell if an avocado was ripe, how to pick a melon, and that various cuts of meat had to be cooked differently for tenderness and according to the dish you were preparing.

When it was our turn to set the table, we were allowed to pull out all the stops - she even had a book on napkin folding that had great ideas, like putting the napkins into the water goblets, or folding them into triangles. 

The worst of the three jobs was the dishes, but we learned that if you filled the sink with hot, soapy, water before sitting down to eat, and let them soak for just a few minutes after, the job was much easier and quicker.

One of the cookbooks we used was actually a textbook.  In Cuba, my sister, Helen was in the Escuela del Hogar at Instituto Edison in Havana - basically a Home Economics major for high school. This was the textbook - La Cocina en el Hogar by Dolores Alfonso. It has 652 pages and 33 chapters - and no pictures (sigh - I love pictures in cookbooks).  The beginning chapters tell how to set a table and the ending chapters describe party planning. The pages are yellowed with age and slightly stained and there are penciled notes in it.  MB in my mom's curly writing next to a recipe tells me it is muy bueno. =D 

She gave me the book with her simple dedication. And although I use tons of other cookbooks, I still refer to this one.  My sisters and I were really groomed to be Domestic Cuban Goddesses. I swear. We are all great cooks and really know how to set a beautiful table and make guests feel welcome. We love to entertain and throw parties.

If you clicked on the book title, you can see that this book is available through Amazon for $199.95(!!!).  It is one of the few things we brought into exile, making it absolutely priceless to me.  The other cookbook is Cocina Al Minuto by Nitza Villapol (she gave that one to my sister, Alina) - I have the bilingual version of that one which I picked up in Miami the last time I was there.

I have taught my daughters to cook and set the table the same way I was taught. The same way my grandmother taught my mom and my aunts. Amy makes the most amazing Arroz con Pollo.  Lucy makes fabulous Pastelitos de Guayaba. 

My sisters and I are paying tribute to my mom this Mother's Day, so what I'm posting here today I will translate and write as a letter of gratitude to her.  So much of who I am and the things I care about are a direct result of her investment of time and energy into teaching us in her own Escuela del Hogar. 

By the way, Escuela del Hogar, translates to Homeschool.  ;-)

Grounded?

Yes, we homeschool.
And yes, of course, we leave the house. I know that sounded a little snotty. Sorry. But there are people who still think that homeschooling means we are terminally grounded and my kids never interact with other people - ever. So I guess I was a little defensive there. I'm over it now.

Our days are pretty predictable for the most part.  Even though we are not in school, we do have schedules that we follow and places we routinely go, just like everyone else.

But if we're not at home, chances are you'll probably find us at one of the following places:

And, ok. I admit it.

Sometimes we don't leave the house at all. =D

Time.

Breakfast on the patio today.
I have found that my kids do better, think better and are more creative when they are allowed to wake up gradually.

I like that. They have a leisurely breakfast, usually with a good book in their hands.

We won't start formal schooling until around 10 am. And even then, we're pretty relaxed.  But I have also found that it is precisely when they are relaxed that they learn. Go figure.

Ask anyone who's ever felt hurried or pressured to get work done or get somewhere on time.  I don't know of anyone who functions well that way. Our goal has always been to create a climate of safety in which to learn and discover. We want them to feel they have time to think. We definitely don't want them worrying all the time about the ways they will fail.

You hear motivational speakers ask the question:
"What would you do in your life if you knew you could not fail?"

That question is already inherently built into our structure. They can't fail. And I don't mean that in a we-must-do-away-with-grades-to-preserve-their-self-esteem way.  They are learning to learn. They are learning that self-esteem comes when they do things that make them proud of themselves. Without grades and without applause. It becomes part of who they are.  Lucy and Jonathan start their day with good feelings and a sense of abundance.  Failure is NOT built into their days. 

I compare them to the  little seedlings in the garden that I protect and care for.  I cover, water, feed ever so gently.  Those seedlings put down strong roots and the outcome is usually surprising and delightful.

As Thomas Edison (another homeschooled kid =D) so wisely said,
"There is time for everything."

I think he was quoting the wisest man who ever lived. =D

L'chaim ("to life!")

On a recent trip to Florida, I made Eric go with me to the bowels of  southwest Miami to hunt down the places of my childhood.

This is me in front of  Silver Bluff Elementary where I went to school as a newly arrived Cuban refugee. It was here that I learned to read back in the See-Spot-Run days. And it was here in this public school that I heard my first Bible stories.

Yes, that is correct. Bible stories in public school.
Go figure.

Lucy has just returned from a Passover Seder with her wonderful Jewish friends, Shoshana and Jonathan and their family. We were discussing the story of Passover and I was remembering that my Jewish teacher in public school used to read to us every day. The stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. All the way through Moses and Passover and the Exodus. And for that I am so grateful.

Having been raised Catholic, I didn't find out until way later that these were the same people who populated the first five books of the Old Testament.  Who knew?? =D

But today, my daughter tasted and enjoyed all things Matzo and experienced the richness of Jewish traditions.  The Koffs are a lovely homeschooling family and follow in the Jewish love for learning for the sake of learning. Her friends will be celebrating their B'nai Mitzvah later this month so we have centered some of our learning around this event.

I love that the kids are enjoying and embracing other people's traditions without having to structure a "multi-cultural" day.  Just like I learned Bible stories in school without anyone making a fuss.

We are just sharing life.  And that's as it should be.

Mary: L'hame everyone.
Adam: No Mary, it's "l'ccchhhaim," like you've got a piece of popcorn lodged in your throat.

The Great Homeschooling Experiment

Lucy wants to be a writer.
Correction - a published author.
So she writes. Every day.

This is one of the beauties of homeschooling. We make time in our schedule for the kids to explore their passions. She is 13 and in 8th grade and knows what she wants and is finding a way to get there.

Frankly, I find her discipline and tenacity a little daunting.

She informed us a few days ago that her plan was to write a novel in 30 days.  She has even recruited Eric to spend an hour each evening writing with her.

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is technically in November, but we decided that this would make a great year-end project for the school year,  so she is doing it in April.

While I can't help but be proud of her, I am not going to be shy about taking a bow here myself.
We've done a good job of pointing her in the right direction and giving her the tools she needs to succeed. She is motivated, self-confident, self-reliant and smart. And that was our plan all along. =D

We believe in homeschooling.
It works.

The Lucy Show

This is what happens when you have creative women in the house and a rip in the knees of your jeans.

I think I remember it being last year's JCrew catalog that showed patched jeans for about $300. (!!)

At times like these I make my kids repeat these magical words:

"Mi mamá cose."
"My mother sews."

Seriously, all that good Cuban-Wife-in-Training stuff comes in handy in times of fashion emergencies.  =D

So when Lucy's jeans fell victim to her bicycle chain and a fierce game of tag, she decided she could probably patch them herself. Aren't they so cool?

So she wore her new/old patched jeans to Junior High Day last week and guess what?

That's right. Now she has a stack of jeans from her friends requesting patches.
She's thinking a website... ebay... maybe a blog...

The apple does not fall far from the tree.  (sigh) 

Full House

I always wished that mine would be the house where all the kids wanted to hang out. (even though it makes me absolutely crazy when kids say they are just going to hang out.)
But I am so not "the cool mom."
I'm pretty strict about voices and volume and feet on furniture and doors being open. I insist on "pleases" and "thank yous."

And they have to do stuff, not just sit around. (I know. Meanest Mom in the Whole Wide World.) They've learned.

Now their friends all know: if you're going to be at the Darbys, you're not just going to be hanging out, you're going to be doing something.
Today, we had a house full of Lucy's friends over. That's right: Junior High age. What I love about these kids though, is that they are all homeschooled and totally get it when I tell them they are welcome to be here all day, but they need to be doing stuff.
Today they played ComedySportz. Or group improv games. (like the tv show,  "Who's Line Is It Anyway?") Adam used to play in high school and I asked him to please teach this group.
Too. Much. Fun.
After they all went home, the phone lines were buzzing.
"That was the FUNNEST DAY EVER!"
"Can we do it again NEXT WEEK?"
"Will Adam teach us MORE games?"

So it seems we will be hosting more kids next week and every Sunday from here on out. =D

The real comedy in this is that Adam was on the phone to his friends, too. These are the same group of guys who used to come over here all the time when Adam was in high school.
"Hey, guys! ComedySportz at my house every Sunday afternoon! Who's in?"

Answer: ALL. OF. THEM.

Ay! Dios Mio! 

Be careful what you wish for...

God Save the Queen (or Princess)

As Cuban as I am, I have to remember that my daughter also has English Darby blood in her veins.

And truly, she carries herself with such amazing confidence and poise. And I KNOW she didn't inherit that from me. =D

We're in the middle of the Renaissance now in Junior High.
Lucy goes to school one day a week with other homeschooled kids to get her fill of socializing and, this semester, hithers and yons.

She picked Elizabeth Tudor as the character she wanted to study.
She was the loving and nice Tudor.
She was the one who loved the people and the people loved her back.

I think my daughter picked the character whose character was most like her own.

In costume, Lucy carries herself with a regal air that is almost breathtaking.

But underneath that elegant Elizabethan exterior, her heart beats to a cha-cha rhythm.

My Cuban-American Princess.

She can't help it. It's in her blood. ;-)