"Open me first!"

Back in the day, Kodak had a genius ad campaign for their sweetly priced Instamatic cameras.

From around the early 60's and into the  70's their pre-Christmas ads would say something about marking the wrapped camera with a tag that said "Open me first!"   Serious genius.

So, you're probably thinking that this post is about cameras, but aside from the previous fun fact, (and the fact that I'm still upset that I don't have my real camera back from the shop) it's not.

Jonathan (the almost 13 year-old) got Adam (the 22 year-old) a Self-inflating Whoopee Cushion for Christmas. 
Yes, the kind you sit on and it makes a loud and melodious... umm....trumpet-like sound...umm....oh, you know...

It makes a farting noise!
There, I said it. (blush, blush)

The big selling point for this was the it "self-inflates after each f*rt!"  This new feature makes it unnecessary to blow it up after each use.  I know. Someone spent some serious time, energy and money devising this energy efficient update to the classic gag. It staggers the imagination....

Any kind of bathroom humor, of course, is irresistible to boys of all ages. My boys are no exception.

So, this New and Improved Self-inflating Whoopee Cushion was the very first gift that was opened on Christmas morning at our house.

And while we did have actual Christmas music playing in the background, the soundtrack of our Christmas sounded decidedly, well....

umm.....different.  =D

(Confession: it made me laugh (a carcajadas!) EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. but that's not important right now.)

Did I mention that Eric's parents came over for Christmas dinner???

Ay Dios mio.

Pickles and Madness - an enduring Christmas tradition

I'm Cuban.
I grew up celebrating Noche Buena.

On December 24th we would rise early to decorate the house and put up the Christmas tree while the pig slowly cooked in its garlicky goodness all day long until we kids were driven mad from hunger and completely ravenous by the traditionally late dinner hour, but that's not important right now.

But I'm also American.
I have gradually learned over the years how other families celebrate Christmas Day and have picked up some traditions that we have made our own.

One of those traditions is the hiding and finding of The Pickle Ornament.

Here's the drill:

1) After all the gifts have been opened, the parents hide a pickle ornament somewhere on the Christmas tree. (I swear they exist. Who knew?)
2) Whichever child finds the hidden pickle then receives an extra gift.

My friend, Pam was the one who got me started with this tradition. She sent me a pickle ornament a few years ago and so began A Darby Family Holiday Tradition.

Except for now that they're all older, my kids are all too smart (and a little sneaky) and they can spot the darn pickle from miles away.

So, this year, knowing they'd be looking for the pickle, I fooled them.  I hung a little pearl instead. (See it dangling there on the top of this ornament and yes, I know the picture is blurry - that's because I still don't have my real camera back from Olympus. *sigh* So I'll just have to deal, but that's not important right now either.)

So they hunted....

And hunted....
And Jonathan was right there....

But Adam is the most competitive and snatched the victory right out of Jon's grasp.  (Of course, Amy Kikita was not at all upset....)

The point of this tradition? (Aside from the extra gift thing...)

I figure it's an updated way to continue the Cuban tradition of driving the kids mad on Christmas. 

Does that make me a bad person?   ;-)

The Christmas Video

One of the gifts we give our family for Christmas each year is a movie.

My daughter, Amy Kikita studied film for years and is brilliant when it comes to movie-making and film-editing.

The process is neither quick nor easy.  We spend hours, days, and weeks listening to music and looking at pictures and watching video footage of old home movies. 

Once we have determined what songs we will use, we then look for photos and choose film clips which then have to be scanned or captured or otherwise uploaded into Final Cut Pro.

We spend most of the year planning and thinking and brainstorming for what to include in The Christmas Video.  It's always great if there's a wedding (which happily there was this year) so that we have lots of footage of our family together and dancing and having fun. (Thanks, Michael & Kimberly!) 

Sometime in October we finalize what video clips we're using and then schedule time on our calendars for her to come over a few hours each night from November on.

Inevitably, we will get a last minute inspiration and sometimes throw out hours of work only to come up with something better. 

We work from a list to make sure that every single member of our big, fat Cuban family shows up at least once.  Sometimes one person gets more screen time one year than another does.  That seems to work itself out in the long run.

We laugh. We cry. We argue. We high-five.  It has become an intense labor of love and a wonderful family-glue type of tradition.

There are some clips that we use every year.

We mix it up with scenes from Thanksgiving 2007 all the way back to Christmas on the farm in Cuba when we were all so very young.  We remember those loved ones we've lost and we celebrate the additions to the family.

I love that we captured my dad (who rarely smiled) smiling on camera. I cry every time. It's the last shot on this piece from last year's Christmas Video.

(I can't publish this year's video because it hasn't been viewed yet by the family.  We'll all watch that one together as part of our NocheBuena celebration, but that's not important right now.)

So, without further ado....

Cucufate Pictures Presents....

"Be excellent to each other."
                                ~ Bill and Ted

Andrew Lloyd Weber enters the Cucufate Olympics

Kikita here.

A few years ago Mami started a new tradition with Lucy and me. Every December we would go to the theater. We've seen "White Christmas", and the musical version of "It's a Wonderful Life" just to name a few.

So this year Mami asked me if I'd be interested in seeing "Jesus Christ Superstar." I didn't even try to pretend to be excited. I had tried to watch the movie some years ago and never could get into it. While I was trying to politely decline, I found that "Cats" was going to be playing nearby and suggested we do that instead. I told her that Lucy would probably enjoy that one more anyway because she loves cats so much AND she loves the movie. I also held that "Cats" was Andrew Lloyd Weber's most famous show . . . (no, not necessarily true, but I was trying to win).

I'm really not sure where the breakdown happened . . .

I could have sworn that after our conversation, I had won and we had decided to see "Cats" and just needed to wait until the tickets went on sale. A couple of weeks went by and I bought the tickets and I forgot about them (hey, I've been busy). My memory was jogged when Mami and I were reviewing our video-making schedule and she said, "We need to keep that day open for Jesus Christ Superstar."

WHAT?

Ummm . . . Mami, I bought tickets for "Cats."

Mami bought tickets for "Jesus Christ Superstar." (Thus, the situation was automatically entered into the Cucufate Olympics.)

To tell you the truth, I was prepared for the worst. I decided that I would suck it up and tolerate the first show and then Lucy and I could enjoy the REAL show a few days later.

 Poor Lucy was stuck in the middle of an Andrew Lloyd Weber war . . .

That is, until I saw "Jesus Christ Superstar" with Ted Neeley (the guy who played Jesus in the 1973 film).

I LOVED it. I publicly admit that I was VERY dubious and that I was VERY wrong (hopefully, Jesus will forgive me). ;-)

Honestly, found that while I was watching "Magical Mr. Mistoffeles" I kept thinking "Ho-sanna! Hay-sanna! Sanna! Sanna! Ho!"

But please, "Don't you get me wrong . . . don't you get me wrong now . . . " I am happy we got to see them both, it's just that next year I'm going to have a little more "faith" in Mami. =D

Cubans wear TOGAS at Christmastime??

Like so many other families, we like to send out a photo greeting card each year at Christmastime.

Unlike so many other families, there's never really any danger of us taking ourselves too seriously, but that's not important right now. =D

The photo is from Adam's birthday celebration earlier this year. I made good on my threat to use it for our Christmas cards. The postcard was created using Photoshop Elements 6.0 for the Mac.  The design is my own.

I'd love to send out a personal greeting to every single one of you, my faithful (and at times wacky) readers, who seem to totally "get" my offbeat sense of humor, but logistically that won't work out, so receive this cyber-greeting instead.

Merry Christmas to all of you from me and my big, fat, Cuban family.
We're glad you are in our lives.

Besos,
Marta

So, what do you think?  It kinda looks Christmassy in a madcap sort of way, doesn't it?    ;-)

When I sang that I was dreaming of a white Christmas, I didn't really mean it.

 No disrespect to Bing Crosby or anything, but I never knew what a "White Christmas" was all about. (Although, I think the film, White Christmas with Bing Crosby & Danny Kaye is one of my absolute favorite must-see holiday movies and I totally think it's genius, not only because Rosemary Clooney gets to wear all those fabulous dresses, especially the red velvet Santa-esque one in the final scene, but because the film also manages to be patriotic at the same time, but that's not important right now. =D)  

I have only ever lived in tropical (Cuba & Florida) or deserty (So. Cal) climates. 

So I really don't know how to "do" weather. But a real storm just blew through last night.

Imagine our surprise and delight when we looked out and saw this view from our back yard this morning:

Surprise because when we do get a cold rain about once a year, there's only ever a slight dust of powder at the very top of our highest local peak, which I think just squeaked in on the mountain category, but that's not important right now, either. 

This winter wonderland is down to about the 500-or-so feet range and we just don't know what to do with ourselves.

"There's snow on Saddleback!"  The entire neighborhood is outside oooh-ing and aah-ing.

You see, for us here in So Cal, snow is usually a destination.  As in, "let's go to the snow this weekend."

We can go there (to the snow) for the day and ski or slide down hills on innertubes and then pack up and come home in the evening.  I know. We're kind of wimpy that way.

We don't know how to act when there's snow sitting right behind us. Or when the temperature drops down below 40 degrees.

So we all go outside with our cameras (make sure to get those palm trees juxtaposed just so against the snowy mountain!) to document this historic moment and then quickly go back inside (because none of us even own a jacket) to sit in front of our faux fireplaces with our hot cocoa and play Christmas music....

....and okay.... to dream.  ;-)

What's your "turron" of choice?

There are some things that are unique to my Cuban culture that I take for granted. Particularly at Christmastime.

Like most people and most other cultures, there are things we grew up with that seem normal.  But outside of our cultural context are just plain weird.

Let's take TURRONES for example. (Pronounced TOO-RON-EHS.  Well, sort of...)

See?  Already my non-Cuban readers are saying "Huh? What the heck?"  (they're probably asking other questions, but this is a family blog. =D)

It's a sort of nougat-like, umm..., candy-ish, sweet.... with nuts....or not....made with egg yolks.... or almonds... and... *sigh*   Impossible to explain!

My mom and I went to the local mercado (which is technically a little Mexican market that stocks all kinds of products by Goya, but that's not important right now) where I shop for the stuff I need to support my guava and mojo criollo habit. ;-)

And there it was.  An entire shelf dedicated to the turrones.  And of course, we all know that you must have the turrones for the traditional Cuban Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) Celebration.

After we stuff ourselves with lechón, there is dessert.  And part of the traditional Noche Buena dessert set up is a mix of turrones.

And everyone has their favorites.  In fact, we can get quite passionate (Cubans, being passionate?? Shut up. =D) about our turron of choice.

So, for those of you who can identify...

Which is your favorite turron?

• Yema?
• Jijona?
• Alicante?
• Or do you go straight for the marzipan?

For you Cuban-Americans living in places where turrones are hard to come by.... Most varieties are available here.

Me? I'm a Yema girl myself. (But I'll deny it if you tell anybody. =D)

sELF-portrait Tuesday... Holiday Style. =D

I couldn't do Christmas without them.  ;-)

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

SELF portrait. Get it? 
(I crack myself up.)

Take a deep breath and just enjoy this...

I tell them every year on December 1st.

"Stop what you're doing, take a deep breath and just enjoy this..."

And yes, Johnny Mathis does look pretty goofy in the fez and Al Jerreau just looks happy to be there, and my hair can look like Chaka Khan without conditioner, and no, I don't believe Kwanzaa is a real holiday. (right, Sheila? =D) 

But I LOVE THIS. 

How this particular tradition began:

December 1st, 1992.  Amy Kikita and I were in the (now defunct) Warner Brothers Studio Store at South Coast Plaza and they played this on the giant screen.  My jaw hit the ground and we both stood there mesmerized.  I got the cd immediately (which of course, was the entire goal of the retailer, but that's not important right now).

And I make them listen to this song every year on December 1st to kick off the Christmas season.
And now I want to share it with you.

So, just stop what you're doing, take a deep breath and just enjoy this...

I think it's good to remember before we launch into all that happens in December that we're actually celebrating the birth of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Happy-Merry-Kwanzaa-Chanu-Mas!

Day One.

Happy first day of December!

In our little corner of The Bubble that is Orange County, California, (I know bubbles don't have corners - it's a metaphor....but that's not important right now) it seems that it has become mandatory to decorate for Christmas in the moments following Thanksgiving.

Seriously.  The bird has barely hit the digestive tract and there are already inflatables in the yards, trees in the houses, and Christmas carols on every radio station.  *sigh*

Well, as much as I LOVE Christmas, I'm still a die-hard and wait until about the middle of the month to pull out the decorations.  Not that we don't do lots of fun things all month, and we're totally shopping and preparing stuff, but I just don't decorate until it gets closer to the date.  See my explanation here.

But my advent calendar is up (yay!)  and the fun is just beginning.

Loyal reader, Ody from Miami Lakes sent me the following Christmas quiz and I thought it would be a fun way to get the season started.  (thanks, Ody!)

1.  Wrapping paper or gift bag?  Wrapping paper.  I buy tons of rolls of one kind and wrap all my gifts the same way.

2.  Real tree or Artificial?  Artificial. (economic decision)

3.  When do you put the Christmas tree up?  after the 15th.

4.  When do you take the Christmas tree down? January 7th. (despues del Dia de Los Reyes).

5.  Do you like Egg Nog? Noooo.  But I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Cuban Crema de Vie!

6.  Favorite gift received as a child? Skipper doll (Barbie's little sister).

7.  Hardest person to buy for?  Tony (brother-in-law).

8.  Easiest person to buy for? Amy Kikita.

9.  Do you have a nativity scene? No.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. Always a photo card.

11. Worst Christmas gift you've ever received? Can't think of even one.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? It's a Wonderful Life.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? September.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes. Not giving details on this. =D

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Lechón Asado.

16. Lights on the tree? Sometimes white, sometimes colored. I do my tree differently each year.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Handel's Messiah - The Hallelujah Chorus (makes me cry every time).

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.

19. A favorite Christmas family tradition?  Our Cucufate Pictures Christmas video that we make every year for my big, fat, Cuban family.

20. What time do you wake up on Christmas? Now that the kids are older - 9ish.  (slowly recovering from Noche Buena the night before).

I'd love to know how you celebrate.  So, if you're willing, put your answers in the comment section.

I do. I want to know.  Your tree is up already, isn't it?  It is, isn't it??   ;-)