My Big, Fat Cuban Family

Noche Buena.
There were 32 adults and 6 kids under the age of six at the party.

It was LOUD. As only a house full of Cubans can get. We all talk at the same time and try to make ourselves heard. Somehow we manage to keep track of all the conversations, even with all the multiple levels of voices.

There was much laughter and chaos. The lovely kind of chaos that is the basis of all my family memories.  Trying to get food on the table and gifts under the tree. Taking pictures and herding small children. The smell of the garlic and onion drenched lechon (roast pork) making our mouths water in anticipation of the amazing meal to come. My mom sitting in the center of all of this giving orders and basking in that warmth that only this familiar picture can create.

Everything stops when it is time for one of my favorite traditions: "The Sister Picture."
Helen and Alina in front. That's me, Miriam and Ofelia in the rear. They still refer to me as The Baby.

For just a moment, it is just us. We are the nuclear family again. We remember that there are things that we share that do not really include all the others, as much as we dearly love them. For just a moment, we remember shared bedrooms and clothes and shopping trips and vacations. We remember what it was like to grow up in a Cuban exile household and figure life out and cling to each other. We miss our brother who lives with his beautiful family in Texas. We wish he was here. We miss Papi, who passed away 7 years ago. We remember what we've lost and celebrate what we have gained.

The picture is snapped and we go back to the craziness of the evening and the meal and the gifts and on with our lives.

But at least once a year for that moment, as the song says:

"We are fa-mi-ly. I've got all my sisters with me."

I hope your Christmas memories are as lovely as mine.

Bionic Women

What would I do without my helpers?
Not only was our road trip to Portos a great success, but I got to spend the morning clowning with my girls.

They are both so amazing. They have shopped and wrapped and filmed and edited and baked and cooked and put up with me through all of our preparations.

All with extraordinary grace and poise.

They haven't even complained. (well, maybe a little =D)

The last of the dvd's is coming off the assembly-line now.  The title they chose was:
"Entre y Toma Una Silla" which means, "Come in and take a seat."
But translated literally: "Between and Drink a Chair."
They are printing and packaging and making placecards and singing
Christmas carols at the top of their lungs.
They remind me of my younger self and my sisters preparing for so many Noche Buenas so many years ago.

What I love the most is that they have stepped up and taken that baton and just run with it.

They have embraced the value that we have for being a blessing to our family. They have embraced their Cuban heritage.

I stop in the middle of preparations and remember that my grandparents loved Noche Buena and everything the celebration brings. I know my grandparents would have been delighted by my girls.

But today, I am the one who is delighted and grateful (and very, very proud). =D

Feliz Navidad!

Salud!

I don't know anyone who truly likes egg nog.
And then they try our Cuban Egg Nog and all perception changes.
We call it Creme de Vie. ("creme" rhymes with Auntie M. and "vie" rhymes with More For Me! =D)

Rather than making cookies for gifts, we make and "package" the Creme de Vie. (we also keep a whole lot for ourselves, too.)
Typically we make it for the non-Cuban side of the family.  They seem to like it. Or at least they are very polite about it.
They have not yet asked us to stop, anyway. =D

Here is our super secret family recipe. Guard it with your life!

Creme de Vie (Cuban Egg Nog)
1 can condensed milk
1 can evaporated milk
6 egg yolks
2 cups sugar
1 cup water
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup rum (make it Bacardi for the Cubanness of it)

Mix the sugar and water until the sugar is dissolved over very low heat, stirring constantly - about 3 minutes . It has to be low so the sugar doesn't carmelize, but makes a thick sugary water. Put the egg yolks in a blender and mix with the condensed milk.  Slowly add the evaporated milk and mix completely.  Flavor with the vanilla.  Add the sugar water and finally the rum as a preservative. ;-)

Now that I've told you, I'm going to have to kill you.

Enough is Too Much!

Our invitations for Noche Buena just went out. I'm quite proud of them.

I wish I could invite you all, but I can't.  This year we're not hosting this event at our house.

We agreed that my nephew's home is more spacious and will accommodate the 40+ people who will be attending.

This doesn't mean I'm off the hook, though.
As you can see, I still do invitations and along with the rest of "The Committee," (yes, we're totally mocking the communists here) decorate and coordinate food and the exchange of gifts. We decided that there are too many of us any more to get individual gifts, so each person brings something really nice for the gift exchange and we have a sort of lottery. Ironically, most of us get gifts for each other anyway. =D

One of the very best things about my family is we have finally figured out how to coordinate our strengths for everyone's benefit. We work well together for the enjoyment of all.

The party itself involves dressing up and a cocktail hour with appetizers. There will be live entertainment - usually one or two of the cousins will play their guitars and organize a sing along. Of course, there is our video (which Amy & Lucy have been feverishly working on).  I swear to you, there is truly never a dull moment.

The menu will include Lechon Asado, arroz blanco, frijoles negros, and yuca con mojo.  Those are the staples of the meal. There will be turrones, of course. And my mom will make her famous flan. This year we've added a Dulce de Leche Cheesecake. Yep. To die for!

I know it might sound a little over the top. And I guess it is. But remember, we are Cuban exiles. We lost so much that we are genuinely grateful for what we have.  We love abundance. I say this with more than a little bit of pride. We truly celebrate. We have survived and weathered so much as a family, as a people group. We are aware of the hand of God in our lives and are anxious to give thanks.

And undoubtedly, when we clink our glasses to toast, one of us will say:
"El año que viene estamos en Cuba."   
"Next year we'll be in Cuba."

We say it as more of a tradition, really.  But who knows?  SALUD.

Hammer Time

DISCLAIMER: The following post will probably only make sense to Cuban-Americans (and probably only to my immediate family). Read at your own risk. =D

I am the youngest of six. Four older sisters and one brother.
One of the beauties of being a Cuban exile, is living and growing up around people who are bilingual. It was always a party (it still is)!

It is not just that we can go in and out of either language.  It is that translating Cuban idioms is pure comedy. (well, maybe you just have to be Cuban to "get it.") The Cuban people have a way of saying things that are very picturesque and in my family we LIVE for these literal translations!  I think someone even coined the term "Cubonics."

Technically, they don't make any sense in Spanish either, which is just the beginning of the fun.

If someone is a little vain, we say, "Se da lija."
Translation: "He sandpapers himself."

If he's a good guy, we say, "Es un pan."
Translation: "He's a piece of bread."

"Come in and take a seat."  "Entre y tome una silla."
Translation: "Between and drink a chair."

"He's cute."  "Que mono."
Translation: "What a monkey."

Cubans love nicknames too. Or at least making a diminutive out of one's name.
Hence, Cubans who meet me for the first time sometimes call me, "Martica." One of my mom's cousins used to call me 'Martilla" (NOTE:  the Spanish word for "hammer" is "martillo").  My sisters started calling me "Little Hammer" as a form of torment and eventually as an endearment.  (BTW, NOBODY else gets to do this with impunity)

My kids love this. Especially Amy, who does an amazing job on our Christmas videos.

She insists that the titles read like this:

She sandpapers herself just a little. =D

Language Lesson

Cucufate. n. (koo-koo-fah-teh)
1. To confuse things in such a way as to cause confusion all around you.
2. a screw-up.

We have been using this term idiomatically in my family as far back as I can remember.
We have taken to calling everything we do a Cucufate (big screw-up). This might be one of those things that is very specifically Cuban.

A few years ago we had an extended family reunion with dozens of names represented.
We just called it "Cucufate Reunion 2002."  I even created a logo. It works for us.

I think it's cool because it puts a light-hearted spin on some potentially annoying situations. And of course, who doesn't screw up every now and then? We just chalk it up to another Cucufate.
My mother, however is Queen of the Cucufate. I guess that makes me a sort of Reigning Princess. Yep. When we screw up, we do it royally! ;-)

Some examples of Christmas Cucufates would be:
From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - "Olive, the other reindeer," would be a Cucufate.

From 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.. - "when up on the roof there, a Rose Suchak Ladder."
Cucufate again.

When my Aunt and Uncle come to visit (my mom's siblings) we call it the Cucufate Olympics because since they're all going deaf it becomes ALL-CUCUFATE-ALL-THE-TIME.  Take the time when my mom tells my uncle to call his daughter, "Llama a Ileana." and he gets a puzzled look because he thinks she's talking about the weather. "que llueve mañana?" Are you catching on to the Cucufate madness?

I know it's not just us. When Eric was wearing his Cucufate shirt in Key West, the Cuban salesgirl in the market made a comment on it. "A Cucufate was just a big mess," she said.  I nodded. I didn't have the heart to explain that we had taken it to a whole new level.

So it is only fitting that in making our Christmas videos we call ourselves Cucufate Pictures.
I'm especially proud of how Amy totally knocked off this logo. One day I will figure out how to upload it to www.Youtube.com and you can see it in motion with the stars coming in to the music. Trust me. It's fabulous.  (sadly, today's not that day)

But my mom insists on telling everyone it's the logo from MGM.  See what I mean?

No more sombreros for Mami, thanks.

There are two kinds of people in this world:

• Those who look good in hats
• And the rest of us.

I was still massaging my bruised ego from The Trampoline Debacle yesterday.  And I had some other problems with orders and customers that put me in a blue funk.  So, Amy took me to dinner at Disneyland to cheer me up. We watched fireworks and it "snowed" on us - that fake snow, of course. And only for the length of the song, "White Christmas."  But it really was a lovely evening and helped so much to get me back into a cheerful mood.

But she made me wear The Hat.

The-Mickey-Mouse-Ears-Santa-Hat.

She looks terrific in hats. She has been wearing them since the day I brought her home from the hospital.

But I do NOT. No adult Cuban woman should be caught dead wearing this.
Still I was so grateful to her, that I dutifully wore The Hat.

My ego is taking such a beating this week - but Amy looks adorable. =D

(Gracias, Mimi!)

It's beginning to look a lot like...

I have been "tagged" by my friend, Kristen with the "Holiday Edition of: Getting to Know Your Friends."

As opposed to other versions, I find this one fascinating. Mostly because the questions are about favorite Christmas traditions.  It seems everyone I know is fiercely dedicated to their own traditions and I love that about my friends.

My own family is passionate about our Christmas celebrations. I think everyone should be. The questions seem simple, but the answers feel way more complex for various reasons. I love this stuff.

With all that in mind, here are the questions and my answers:
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nog.
Not just any Egg Nog. CUBAN Egg Nog. We call it Creme de Vie. It's the Bacardi preservative that gives it the kick. ;-)
2. Does Santa wrap presents or put them under the tree unwrapped?
So much heated controversy over this one! Santa gifts are definitely unwrapped. He leaves each person a pile with their FILLED STOCKING on top.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
Both! Love colored lights!!
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No. We have a Cuban household, we kiss everyone when we greet them.
5. When do you put your decorations up?
We start decorating the inside of our home the beginning of December. We put up our tree and house lights around the 15th.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Lechon Asado! (Roast Pork)
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child.
Waking up early on Christmas eve to decorate the tree with the smell of pork roasting all day.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I think I was about 9.  My oldest sister had had a baby that year and I was enlisted to help shop for Santa gifts for her. Quite shocking.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
My (big, fat, Cuban) family celebrates Noche Buena, which is Christmas Eve. We open presents from each other.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Jewel toned balls and gold ribbon - lots of color. Very rich and ornate. The kids have beautiful mini trees in their rooms for their own ornaments.
11. Snow. Love it or dread it?
I wish I had an opinion about snow. Southern California. Snow is not even on our radar.
12. Can you ice skate?
Yes. I took lessons.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Yes. 1963: Skipper (Barbie's little sister - I still have her), and a Mystery Date Game.
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Making memories with my family - everything is "an event."
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
FLAN!
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
The Preparation.Stuffing stockings, setting an elaborate table, decorating the mini trees.

17. What tops your tree?
A golden angel.
18. Which do you prefer - giving or receiving?
Definitely giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Arbolito de Navidad.
20. What is your favorite Christmas movie?
It's a Wonderful Life. (click on this link for 30 seconds of  Christmas silliness)

Merry Christmas!

We go together...

Working on that Christmas video and sorting through my pictures gives me a total "Now and Then" perspective. 
Because I'm a scrapbooker, I write my journaling stories more about relationships, than I do events. Although, I'm all about chronicling events, too.

I love seeing relationships evolve in my photos.  I love documenting growth.  I see where we are now and I remember where we've been.  The perspective from here makes it that much more compelling.

Here are my older kids and some of their same age cousins. Noche Buena, 1986.
We call this group, "The Babies of the 80's."

(although a couple of them were born in 1978, and Julie wasn't even born until 1987) As you can see we were very busy adding to the family during that decade. ;-)

That's Amy in blue taffeta & Adam is the baby in the tux.

Here they are again.
Young adults. 18 years later.
Still hanging out.

They still care for one another. I love that they are not just cousins, but friends.

I love that they call me when they just want to talk or have a design idea.  I love that they are smart and funny and have a quick wit. I love that they call me "Auntie M." (think Wizard of Oz)

I love that they are all proud of their Cuban heritage. I'm certainly proud of them.

Y 2 Que?

In 1979, after President Jimmy Carter opened up travel between the U.S. & Cuba, I had a cousin go to Cuba to visit family.
She brought back the most amazing treasure for us: A suitcase full of our family pictures.

This is going to sound odd to some, but I was 24 years old and had never, before that moment, seen baby pictures of myself.  You have to remember that we left Cuba with just the most essential things. And my parents were convinced all the political nonsense would be over in no time.  We would just wait it out in the states.  Well... we're still waiting.

So when she delivered that suitcase....it was like buried treasure. My sisters and I pored over that trove.  Pictures of our young parents during their courtship.  Documentation of birthday parties, Christmases and summers in Varadero.  It was such an amazing gift. This was our life... pre-exile.

My parents celebrated their 40th Wedding Anniversary (December 31st - My dad never forgot an anniversary =D) that year. My gift to them was a chronological slide show - using a Kodak Carousel Projector and some music taped onto a cassette, I synchronized slides I had created of our treasured photos with some Cuban music.  I did this manually.  Considering what a "ghetto" production it was.  It was still a huge hit.

Fast forward to December, 1999.

My parents were then preparing to celebrate their 60th anniversary.  We were going into a new millennium.  Adam and Amy were both taking Video Production in school.

In the first week of December, I innocently asked them if they thought we could maybe put together a video slide show with some music to show on Noche Buena.  An updated version of the one I had done 20 years before. There were so many more people in the family, it would be kind of fun for everyone. We got very excited and started pulling out old Christmas pictures, which we would include in this video.

Then, the unthinkable happened. My dad passed away due to complications from his diabetes on December 11, 1999. Now we had a funeral to arrange. But we were still going to have our Christmas Eve party.  It became more important than ever to celebrate our Noche Buena.

The small video project then took on an urgency and a life of it's own. My kids and I worked day and night to pull pictures, create titles and edit. They got extra credit at school for their production.  What began as a 4 minute slide show grew to 40 minutes. 

We showed it on December 24th as a memorial to my father.  We laughed together. We cried together.  The men lit up puros in his honor. And a tradition was born.

We called it:  Y 2 Que? (we still believe that title was divinely inspired)

Amy is teaching Lucy how to edit using Adobe Final Cut Pro and both Macs. That's a TV on the left that they hook up the digital camera to, so they can see what they are capturing.  Amy has begun calling Lucy, "Goddess of the Sub-Clip."

We have graduated to making dvd's. There is still an urgency to making the "Christmas video" that has never quite left us. Through the years we have uncovered old super 8 films from the 50's and 60's and used them in our productions.

The tradition continues.  Everyone is already anticipating the production. We don't just "have Christmas."  This is a unique way we CELEBRATE our family.

I will write more another day about our video productions, but not today. I have to go cry now.

In nothing are we as rich as in our memories.