"What About Prom?"

I have homeschooled my kids for over ten years now. I am still constantly surprised that one of the greatest concerns (right after the ignorant "socialization" question) is "What about prom?"

I sigh a little bit and carefully explain how we do high school: He actually attends a high school that offers Independent Study. His classes are mostly on-line, except for Spanish and Drama. On the days he has those classes, he is physically at a campus and interacts with his many friends. He also leads their Improv team. (See this post.)

Back to the original question: "What about prom?"

The high school independent study program sponsors a prom every spring. It's a lovely and intimate affair with maybe 100 students attending. Some of the kids take dates. Many just go with a group. It's usually held at the always fabulous and iconic Disneyland Hotel and unlike "real" high school, there is very little peer pressure to look or act a certain way - unless you count the good kind of peer pressure, but that's not important right now.

This was Jonathan's first prom. (Yes, he's wearing tails. He looks very "Downton Abbey," doesn't he?)

He did not take a date, but instead chose to go with friends. Aren't they just lovely?

He enjoyed dancing with almost all the beauties represented here. (Because, seriously, if you were a sixteen year old girl, could you resist this?)

I love that the girls were all wearing modest and flattering gowns.

I especially love that they were smart enough to know that a night of dancing would require they wear comfortable footwear. (I may or may not have been on the ground when I took this, but that's not important right now.)

Most of these kids have also been homeschooled for years. We've known them and have watched them grow up into the amazing people you see represented here. (These three were members of the cast of Willy Wonka Jr. which they performed a few years ago. What a looker Violet Beauregard grew up to be!)

I think the implication inherent in the "What about prom?" question is that surely because these kids are homeschooled they can't possible know how to act in public. They couldn't be expected to know how to dress or behave or even which fork to use for their salad.

I don't think the question is meant maliciously in any way. I just think that people sometimes make assumptions over what happens with homeschool education. Or should I say, "independent study." In this case, the emphasis should be on the independent. Most of these kids are not driven by worry of what their peers will think. They've grown up to be...well, independent.

As Jonathan was dressing for the dance, I asked, "Do you need some help?"

"No, mom. I've got this."

Yes, son. You most certainly do.

Homeschool lesson #247 - How to Promenade in style

Lucy was in 4th grade and Jonathan was in 1st when I started homeschooling them.

Believe it or not, even back then, when people found out we were homeschooling them and that we intended to do so for as long as necessary, some would very sincerely ask:

"What about prom?"

Yes. They did. I don't think it ever crossed any of the nay-sayers minds that perhaps my children would grow up more secure and comfortable in their own skin by not having to negotiate the battlefield of what currently passes for public school education.

I think back to my own high school years and I remember the proms I attended. I remember being scared and excited and yet, feeling incredibly awkward. I had never dressed up in a formal gown. I had never been given a corsage or had pinned on a boutonniere. (Nobody teaches you this stuff, do they?)

I look back at my prom photos today and I see myself in satin formal wear and gloves (gloves!) and I think, "Wow, we both look supremely uncomfortable."

Me & my date, Terry B. - (I had never seen an orchid up close and personal before this moment.) May 1971.

In the formal portrait we are positioned in the classic pose that I'm pretty sure is called: "Awkward Prom Pose #1.  (You want him to put his hands where?? No. I obviously wasn't breathing here and to top it off, I forgot my gloves. I had gloves, people!)

But going back to the original well-meaning question: "What about prom?"

How were my poor homeschooled kids (which I was already so obviously depriving of a normal life and education) going to be able to function in the "real" world, and how would they be able to survive in that world if I kept them from experiencing the joys of promenading in formal attire?

Well, for those of you that may be worried about the socialization of my children and how that would play out if they didn't get to go to prom, you can rest easy. The independent learning high school that Lucy attends sponsors a prom each year. (You may now breath a collective sigh of relief.)

• It's a lovely event held at the Disneyland Hotel. (Win!)
• I didn't make her wear gloves (gloves!) like my mother made me back in 1971, so her wrist corsage was easier to put on.
• And yes, I taught her how to pin on the boutonniere. (Hello...Homeschooling Mom! I teach stuff! =D)

 

Lucy looked lovely. Her not-boyfriend (He's a boy. He's her friend. He's not her boyfriend. Shut up.), Matt (who was also homeschooled, but that's not important right now) looked extremely dapper in his tux.

She wore her favorite footwear and, unlike many of the other girls who got brand-new-trendy-yet-painful-prom shoes and had already taken them off before the dance began, she was comfortable in her shoes the entire night. (Win!)

 

I'm glad she got to go to prom. Not because I believe in the sacredness of the ritual, but because I love so much that both of them had such fun together and were obviously so very much at ease.

Let me turn your attention to Exhibit A:

"Those kids look so relaxed together and they're wearing fake mustaches. EPIC WIN!"

And that, my friends, explains the difference between promenading as an awkward teenager and promenading as a secure teenager with someone who is a good friend. These two are are obviously very comfortable in their own skins.

I'm pleased.

(But now I'm thinking she might have liked some gloves. =D)

Today's lesson in homeschooling is complete. ;-)