George Clooney - Boy Genius. Talking about Tomorrowland

"Imagine a place where nothing is impossible." 

Of all the things that I thought that I might be writing about, never did I ever imagine that "interviewing George Clooney" would be one of those topics. 

But that happened and here we are. 

The context is that Disney Pictures has made a wonderful, oh-so-Disneyesque film called, "Tomorrowland." 


And George happens to play the lead character, Frank Walker. 

And I was invited as part of the press junket for the film, Tomorrowland held at the beautiful Montage Hotel in Beverly Hills. 


The rest of the cast, Britt Robertson (“Casey Newton”), Tim McGraw (“Ed Newton”), Raffey Cassidy (“Athena”), Brad Bird (Director / Producer / Writer), Damon Lindelof (Producer / Writer), and Jeff Jensen (Story By) were also present and were all very articulate and lovely.


But, as you can imagine, I only had eyes for George. (Can you blame me?)


Clooney describes his character Frank as “a disenchanted grump who was a bit of a dreamer as a young boy, a smart little scientist kid. Young Frank goes to a place that he thinks is the greatest in the universe, and he believes the world is going to be much better off because of it.

He finds out that those things were untrue and becomes probably the most cynical person one could be. He isolates himself on his family farm and plans to spend the rest of his life there but is forced to deal with his past because of situations that happen in the film.” 


QUESTION - George, at the heart of this movie is a really big idea, which I think is powerful. You’ve made a lot of bold films in your career, particularly the more political ones. But I think this one is right up there, as far as being quite bold. Do you see it that way? 

GEORGE CLOONEY - "Putting me in a summer movie is a very bold thought." [Laughter]

"You know, listen. First and foremost, I think it is a really bold thing for Disney to be willing to do a film that isn’t a sequel and isn’t a comic book, to really invest in a summer film of this sort of ilk.

"The fun part of it, to me, was when you read the screenplay, although I have to say, just so we’re clear, when Damon and Brad showed up at my house, they said,

“We’ve got a part that we’ve written for you.” And then I opened up the description of the character and it’s a 55-year-old has-been, and I’m kind of going, 'Hang on a minute, which part am I reading for?'"

JEFF JENSEN - "It said genius, by the way. It said genius." 

GEORGE CLOONEY -  "It said former genius, boy genius, who has gotten bitter in his old age."

"I just loved the idea of, you know, we live in a world right now where you turn on your television set and it’s rough out there. And it’s not fun. And it can really wear on you after a period of time. And we see generations now feeling as if it’s sort of hopeless, in a way, and what I love about it is it sort of speaks to the idea that your future is not preordained and predestined, and that if you’re involved, a single voice can make a difference and I believe in that.

I happen to believe in it, and so I loved the theme or the idea that, you know, there’s still so much that we can all do to make things better. And I liked it. I thought it was great."


BRAD BIRD (On growing up with great optimism for the future.) - "I grew up and remember the moon landing. I remember how that felt. I was actually in the air when they were about to get out on the surface. We were flying in from Denver, and I was like, “I’m going to miss it!” Fortunately, there were some kinds of technical errors and we landed in the airport. We ran to the nearest TV monitor and there were, like, 400 people just packed in, watching when Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. And everybody just went, “Whoo!” That feeling has never left me." 

Having seen the film, I can tell you that that same feeling has never left me, either. I'll do a review on it in a few days. But for now, I'm glad to report that Disney has a vision for the future and this vision includes George Clooney. Boy Genius. 


"Imagine a place where nothing is impossible."

Like Marta interviewing George Clooney? I know. Shut up.

Tomorrowland opens in theaters on Friday, May 22nd, 2015.

From the Set to the Red Carpet - NOT A Very Bad Day at All

Sit back. Get some popcorn. I have a wonderful "full circle" type story for you today.

Jonathan worked on the film, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day last summer as a featued background actor. 

It started almost exactly a year ago when Jonathan decided he might like to give acting a shot. He signed up with a casting agency that specializes in background actors. Specifically kids. Because we homeschool and his high school classes were all online, there were no scheduling difficulties. 

He started working almost immediately as he was 17 and a few productions needed teenage background actors. I recall we were on vacation when I received the email asking if he was available to work for a few days in September on an upcoming Disney movie. 

Wait. WHAT?

Disney had a film in production and they needed a few kids to work "featured" background." They were calling them the Prom Kids. That's all the information they gave us. 

Edith Head and Me

We saved the filming dates and the next thing we know, Jon and I are on our way to the Edith Head Building at Universal Studios for a wardrobe fitting. 


Having worked as the costume person (and a huge fan of Edith Head) for theater productions for years, I was completely over-the-moon-out-of-my-skin-excited for the opportunity. I may or may not have made a complete fangirl fool of myself asking a bizzillion questions of the costume people. (Please notice the costumes from Once and Barbra Streisand's skating outfit from Funny Girl. That is all.)


 We still knew nothing about the what or why of the scene or the film, but dutifully followed all the directions we had.


Jon was delighted with his skinny, Euro-tailored suit and Italian leather shoes. Also, the wardrobe people were just lovely. 


We arrived on the set a few days later. Call time was 8:00 am for the days we were there for filming, which meant we left our house at 6:00 am. I know. "Wah, wah...we had to get up early to go work on a Disney movie." (Not complaining at all.)

Getting Camera Ready

First thing in the morning, Jon would check in with the wardrobe, hair, and makeup people. 





Then we were off to the set to "hurry up and wait."

The Prom Kids

There were 5 "featured background" kids - 3 guys and 2 beautiful girls. They quickly bonded - it's a strange feeling being dressed and made up for prom for an entire day, waiting for your scene. They began calling themselves "The Breakfast Club." (Early call times, you know.)


The Japanese Restaurant 

These particular days, the filming took place at a Japanese restaurant in Pasadena, which, in the film is called Nagamaki.  With a bit of movie magic and the change of a sign, we were now in the world of Alexander and his family.


This is where we were esconced during the filming of the restaurant/prom scene. Gratefully, it was air-conditioned. (Which proves the existence of God as far as I'm concerned.)

Hanging with the Talent

All the actors, including the background people, were in different rooms of the (air-conditioned-thank-you-God!) Japanese restaurant waiting for their scenes to be called. 


It was sooo accidentally cool to be:

  • Working on a movie set.
  • With Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner.
  • Keeping our fingers crossed that Jon's "prom moment" would make it into the film.



Steve Carell was truly gracious in allowing photos with the kids. Jon may or may not have said, "You...are my biggest fan," which got a laugh out of Steve. He also bought pizza for 80 people the night we had to stay late on the set. Lovely human.



Is He or Isn't He?

There are two moments in the film, and I mean moments, as in, if you blink, you missed them, where the Prom Kids are featured. 

One is where the characters of Celia and Anthony, played by Bella Thorne and Dylan Minnette see their friends at the Japanese restaurant on prom night.


Cue the Prom Kids.



They took turns walking in with a different person, in a different order. In the film, their "moment" is cut to less than 2 seconds. And no, Jon didn't make the cut. (Note: I totally would have made the same decision if I were the director. It makes sense to the plot of the film.) But still...*sigh*



At the end of the craziness that takes place in the restaurant (by the way, Steve Carell actually caught all those shrimp in his mouth with no CG, but that's not important right now) there's a scene that takes place just outside of a limo. 


They filmed the kids walking to the limo, getting into the limo, sitting in the limo. In the scene that actually made it into the film, Jon is IN THE LIMO. So, no, you don't see him at all on film. But he's IN THE LIMO. 

This has now become the running joke around here: "JON WAS IN THE LIMO!" Or hashtag: #jonwasinthelimo. I guess you had to be there...

What Was It Like on the Set?

You know at the end of a film when they roll the end credits and they go on for miles and miles? Well, those people are my heroes now. I know the stars and the director and producers are the ones who take the bows, but the people who make all the magic happen - the lighting, props, effects, makeup, wardrobe, best boys, and key grips and all that - they are my heroes. 

Not only were they super professional and hard-working, they were delightful and happy to answer all the questions that the über-curious Cuban mom threw at them.

Truthfully, I was giddy and happy and bouncing around with such enthusiasm because I was so happy to just be there (even in the inflatable cast I was wearing around this time) as this was all happening. I don't know if they felt sorry for me, or if my crazy was contagious. I could so appreciate all of their artistry. 


Seriously, prop people, what a fun job!


The Walt Disney Studios

So, here we are one year later and the film, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is ready to be released. Imagine my delight when Disney invited us to pre-screen the movie at the Disney Studios in Burbank. They were gracious enough to let Jon invite his friends. (Thanks, Disney people!)


We prepared them for the two scenes which Jon may or may not have been in.

Afterwards, they were wonderfully supportive (as only good friends can be in that moment when you find out your scenes have been completely cut from a Disney film) and consoled him with, "But, Jon, you were IN THE LIMO!

The Red Carpet Premiere

On Monday, October 6th, we were invited to the Red Carpet Premiere of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day at Disney's El Capitan Theater in Hollywood. (<--Please appreciate that sentence and be appropriately impressed and freaked out with me. Thankyouverymuch.)

Of course, I've already told you about the Press Junket.

As we walked the Red Carpet, I couldn't help but feel grateful at how we had come full circle and had the wonderful opportunity to experience the movie-making process from wardrobe fitting, to being on the set and working on the movie. Now here we were walking the Red Carpet on premiere night. What a gift.



The After-Party

As if it wasn't enough that we had the privilege to see the film with all the stars at the gorgeous El Capitan Theater, we were also invited to the after-party. 

Wait. What? (Somebody pinch me.)

I know. It was so much fun to be a part of the celebration. Dylan Minnette, who plays big brother, Anthony, remembered Jonathan from the days that he spent on the set.


Ed Oxenbould, who plays Alexander is an absolute delight.


We ate, we mingled, we discussed our good fortune to have been invited. I was proud of Jon in that he handled the disappointment beautifully and quickly went back to being his wonderful, goofy self. This whole thing has been a bit surreal.

So there you have it. That's the story of the journey that Jonathan and I took from Movie Set to Red Carpet. I'm still a little bummed that Jon didn't make it into the film at all, but so grateful for the amazing experiences I got to share with my son this past year.


Also, when you go see the film, please remember that: JON WAS IN THE LIMO!

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day opens everywhere on Friday, October 10th, 2014.

Million Dollar Arm - A Review

I realize that any movie review is completely subjective to the reviewers taste. My view on this, however, is that if you've been reading my blog long enough, you know the type of person I am and so you'll get a better perspective of where I'm coming from when I talk about the movies I have seen.

Today I'm going to tell you about Disney Pictures' Million Dollar Arm, starring Jon Hamm. 

I could just start with, "OMG! You guys! You have to see this film! You. Will. Love!" Which is what I say to every single person I talk to about it, but that's not important right now.

I'll try to put on my unbiased opinion-giver hat...

It's based on the true story of sports agent JB Bernstein (Jon Hamm) who, in a last ditch effort to save his business, concocts a scheme to find baseball's next great pitching India.

He finds a couple of Indian boys who can throw a fastball, but who have no idea about playing baseball. He hopes to have them trained and ready for a major league tryout in less than a year. The odds are obviously against them from the start. 

The fish-out-of-water angle is shown from both sides: JB in India and the boys when they come to America.

Jon Hamm as JB Bernstein

The movie tells this story perfectly. You feel JB's desperation. You empathize with him - his frustration, his emotion - while still being a little mad at him for being such a jerk. You want JB to succeed, because you get caught up in the story right away. 

You fall in love with the Indian boys, Rinku and Dinesh (played by Suraj Sharma and Madhur Mittal). You experience their wide-eyed fascination with life in the states. You take turns feeling like the outsider in the opposite cultures. Again, beautifully done.

This film takes us not just to the sights and sounds of India, but it's also full of emotion, comedy, and sympathy. 


I'll tell you right now that every character plays their supporting role beautifully. The story pulls you in immediately and has you rooting for the boys and for JB. 

Lake Bell as JB's neighbor, Brenda is funny, independent, and wise. Characteristics that JB doesn't necessarily find attractive at first. She's a strong, smart, funny, sexy female lead in a family film and she does it effortlessly.

My very favorite character is Amit, JB's right hand über eager, die-hard baseball fan translator. Played by Indian actor, Pitobash with just the right amount of earnestness and humility. He is the comedy relief and manages to steal every scene he's in. He also manages to give the film some of its most poignant moments.

So now that I've given you some of the high points, let me just say that it's a wonderful, must-see, family-friendly movie. It doesn't matter whether you're a baseball fan or not. The themes of the film are about connecting, working hard, and seeing your dreams come true. 

Full disclosure: I've seen this film 3 times now. I love it that much. You'll understand as soon as you see it - which you MUST! 

Also, "OMG! You guys! You have to see this film! You. Will. Love!"


Million Dollar Arm opens in theaters everywhere Today, May 16, 2014.

Thor: The Dark World - A movie review (and love letter)

A few nights ago, my son, Jonathan and I had the pleasure of previewing the film, Thor: The Dark World in LA.


If you don't already, please read about my great über-nerdy love of the character of Thor here.

I was so thrilled to receive the invitation from Disney Pictures to see the film. Especially because I got to share the moment with Jon.

But just before we went in...

Me (engulfed with a sudden surge of insecurity): "Jon! I'm wearing orange."

Jon: "What does that matter, Mom?"

Me: "We're in LA! Everyone knows you're supposed to wear black and attempt to look hipsterish in LA."

In line to watch thor

He smirks at me.

Jon: "Quick! What's the name of the realm where Thor lives?"

Me: "Asgard. Duh."

Jon: "What's the name of the gatekeeper of Asgard?"

Me: "Heimdall. Why?"

Jon: "Where was Loki born?"

Me: "Yodenheim. To the Frost Giants. What's your point?"

Jon: "I think you're good, Mom."

That, as any middle aged mom knows, was truly the highest praise. In we went to watch the 2nd installment of Thor: The Dark World.

In Real 3D. There's a mellower, realistic quality to Real 3D, as opposed to just regular 3D. For once, I really enjoyed it . Who knew?

Marta and Jonathan at Thor

Our consensus on the film: Chris Hemsworth as Thor is still magnificent as The God of Thunder. Particularly when he bursts out of nowhere and expertly wields Mjolnir. That's the name of his hammer. Pronounced: "Mee-yol-neer." (Wow. You probably had no idea I was this über-nerdy.)

Thor with hammer

Tom Hiddleston is the best good guy/bad guy ever. You hate him. You love him. You laugh at him. You root for him. You trust him. You don't trust him. He's evil. He's conflicted. He's hurt. He did what? Your mind is blown. Seriously, Marvel. Thank you for such a wonderfully watchable and complex character.


I'm not going to go through each member of the cast or spoil the movie, but when you see it (and all you über-nerds out there, you MUST!) please pay attention to Rene Russo as Frigga, Thor's mother. Her scene is one of the most brilliant and beautiful mom moments ever. (I may or may not have gasped and cried. Your interest is piqued now, isn't it?)

Thor: The Dark World is beautifully made. The story is compelling. The characters are all utterly engaging. I liked Natalie Portman as Jane! The special effects enhance the plot and move the story along which is not always the case in these days of easy CG effects (I'm looking at you, Transformers).

Best of all, I got to enjoy it and spend an über-nerdy evening with my teenage son. We talked about all the plot twists and turns all the way home. And for that gift, I'm über-grateful, Disney Pictures and Marvel.

Also, be sure to sit through all the credits until the very end. But if you're a Marvel über-nerd, you already knew that.

Thor: The Dark World opens in theaters everywhere on November 8th, 2013.

For the Love of Olaf

Remember that time I spent the day at the Disney Animation Studio in Burbank? Obviously, being an artist myself, and a techno-geek, and a lover of all-things-Disney made it a fantastically fantastic day for me. (Emphasis on the "fan" part.)

We had the priviledge of being immersed in the world of Disney's FROZEN, the latest animated feature from Disney Pictures.

Today I wanted to tell you about one of my favorite characters in the film. "It's too soon to have a favorite," you say. "The film hasn't even come out yet," you say.

I promise if you've seen any of the trailers, you too will already be in love with Olaf. He's the snowman.

Olaf & marta

 Allow me to introduce you to my new best friend, Olaf. Watch. And love.

Directed by Chris Buck ("Tarzan," "Surf's Up") and Jennifer Lee ("Wreck It Ralph"), Frozen is already shaping up to be a must-see Disney classic. And Olaf is one of the sweetest pieces of the story for me.

Kristoff and Anna face fierce weather, wolves—and a strangely familiar snowman named Olaf, who takes them—and the audience—by surprise. “When Elsa flees Arendelle,” says Lee, “she starts playing with the very magic she’s been hiding for so long. The snowman she creates comes from memories of the happy times she shared with Anna when they were young. Olaf represents that pure innocence and childhood joy. The minute we imbued him with that, he just took off. He’s funny in a way that children are funny. He’s completely unaffected by the world. He’s the one character who isn’t struggling with fear versus love. He is love.”


Remember that I got to spend a day with the Disney Animators and chat with them about the making of this film? (I know. I just wanted to say that again.) From the producer and directors to the animators to the actors who voiced the film, the consensus appears to be that Olaf is the most unique of Disney characters.

Olaf still

A snowman who has dreams of playing in the sun... Wait! That might have been an overshare, but that's not important right now.

There's so much more that I want to share with you, but I hope I've whetted your appetite enough that you're anxious to meet Olaf for yourself. He's a snowman after my own heart.

Disney's FROZEN opens in theaters everywhere on November 27th, 2013.

Marta's Birthday Month®

I know.

Everyone else celebrates their birthDAY. And some clever folks even celebrate Birthday Week, which I did, too, until I said to myself, "Self, we should try to see if we can drag out this birthday celebration stuff for the entire month of May."

No, I don't really talk to myself that way....or maybe I do, but that's not important right now. ;-)

And so I scheduled coffee with friends and mani-pedis and saw movies and went to fun places and ate fabulous meals. And I celebrated. And celebrated. And it all made me happy.

So here's a recap of the fun stuff I got to do in the month of May, which will henceforth be known as Marta's Birthday Month®.

For starters, I got to bake in the Nestlé Kitchens in Glendale. I know. Shut up. I was beside myself with excitement. (More of that story plus a generous giveaway from Nestlé coming up later this week.)


Lucy and I went up to Universal City Walk and had dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Buca di Beppo.


Then we got to attend a preview-screening of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. (Thanks, Disney Pictures!)


We saw it in IMAX 3D. Here we are looking appropriately nerdy in our 3D glasses. (Totally enjoyed the movie, by the way. And this is now the 2nd photo of me in 3D glasses that I've posted on my blog. Is this going to be a trend?)

3d glasses

And we just happened to be in L.A. on the Clearest, Most Beautiful Day Ever. (Incidentally, that's the Warner Brothers studio lot in the foreground. Do you recognize it from the beginning of WB films? Note to self: Take the WB Studio Tour one day very soon.)

Beautiful LA day

All that piratey fun happened on the night of the full moon. (Which was sooo amazing and here I was trying desperately to capture the magicalness of the moment with my iPhone 4G, which I love, but which couldn't quite do the Magical Scene justice, but that's not important right now, either.)

Full moon

Sometime this month I also made my famous Arroz con Pollo, which happens to be my favorite Cuban food on earth. (At least, when I make it.)

Arroz con pollo

And we went out to breakfast a few times. Breakfast, by the way, is my favorite meal to eat out.


My beautiful and talented friend, Tamera took me out for coffee and let me choose a bracelet from her awesome new jewelry collection. She has finally started blogging and sharing her awesomeness with the world. (Yay!)

You can find her online at Tamera Go visit her blog and be prepared to be totally inspired by her incredible creativity.

Bracelet by Tamera

Close up of the bracelet. It says: Live out loud. Yes, that's my plan. Thanks again, Tamera!


As if things just couldn't get more festive, my gladiolus finally bloomed.


And so did my Stairway to Heaven. Jonathan is 6'2". The bush tree is about 15 feet tall and blooming prolifically, which just makes me fall in love with it every single day.

Rose tree

We celebrated my (actual!) birthday with dinner with close friends.

With girls

And my BFF, Pam sent me this gorgeous necklace from Lisa Leonard Designs that I may or may not have been secretly coveting. (Love you MORE!)

From pam

And her granddaughter, CJ made me this cute video:
"The birds are angry because it's your birthday and not theirs." Isn't she adorable?

We enjoyed another breakfast (did I mention it's my favorite meal to eat out?) out in the canyon close to us. Seriously excellent home cooked meals. Particularly breakfast. =D

Silverado cafe

Eric and the kids chose these beautiful climbers for the arch in my white picket fence. (Note: we have been looking for and not having any luck with finding a hardy climber to do what I want it to do, but that's not important right now, either.)

It's called Piñata. Isn't that apropos for a birthdaymonth gift?

Pinata roses

My friend, Wanda got me these gorgeously intricate measuring spoons. I promptly announced that I would hang them in my kitchen, to which she replied that I must actually use them. Often.

I kind of have to work through that concept of actually using cool things in my real life. (Anyone else struggle with this? No? Never mind...)

Measuring spoons

Of course I got a pedicure. That goes without saying.


Plus I got lots of Birthday Love on Facebook. (If you don't already, please feel free to "like" My Big, Fat, Cuban Family on Facebook.)

All in all, Marta's Birthday Month® (Wait! Is that an oxymoron?) was a huge success.

I feel very loved and very cherished.

And I've managed to celebrate my fifty-six years in epic form.

Me & e

Did I mention I lead a charmed life? ;-)

Gnomeo & Juliet and I am Number Four - DVD Winner

Thanks to all of you who entered the giveaway for these fabulous Disney Picture DVDs:
Congratulations to:
Andria said...

- Candle in the Wind

- I already wear glasses and it's a pain to have to wear the 3-D ones on top. So, I don't enjoy the movie as much since I'm always fidgeting with my glasses x2


Please send me an email with your snail mail address and  HEY, MARTA! I WON STUFF ON YOUR BLOG! in the subject line and I will forward your address to the generous folks at Disney who will get those DVDs out to you immediately.

For the record, my favorite Elton John song is still Your Song. (Did I ever tell you that when I was in high school we snuck into the trees to hear Elton John sing during his very first U.S. tour in 1970 at the Greek Theater?)

And I like the "modern" 3D films. As long as I'm sitting far enough back and there's not too much motion, but that's not important right now. ;-)

A Pirate's Life - A Cool Giveaway

You know how much I love All-things-Disney.

And can I just tell you how ready I am for summer? Not just because I'll have lots of down time (yay!), but also because summer is Blockbuster Movie Season. Am I right?

Jonny & penelope


First movie on my List of Blockbuster Movies I'm Looking Forward To: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES which will be released next week just in time for my birthday. (Thank you, Disney People!)

Capn jack

Here are my reasons (in no particular order):

  • Johnny Depp.
  • Penelope Cruz.
  • The Fountain of Youth.
  • I can wear scarves and heavy eye makup and no one will think it's weird.
  • I have a Very Cool Piratey Giveaway.
  • Best movie quotes EVER.
  • One of Lucy's teachers from last semester, Tim Powers, wrote the novel that the screenplay was based on, but that's not important right now. (Notice the cool inscription, which reads: "For Lucy - Who will be signing books for me one day! Cheers, Tim Powers. I know. Shut up.)

  Tim Powers autograph

So, here's what the generous folks at Disney Studios Motion Pictures are providing for this Very Cool Piratey Giveaway Pack: 

1) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES T-shirt in adult sizes of S, M, L (winner chooses)

Pirate stuff

2) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES bandana in blackPirate bandana

3) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES temporary tattoo (2 per winner)Pirate tattoo

I'm very pleased! This is some awesome pirate loot.

So, it's time to play along with me.

For a chance to win the Cool Piratey Giveaway Pack, please leave your favorite Cap'n Jack quote or dialogue from any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Only in the comments section of this post.Or just leave a piratey sounding comment.

I'll choose a winner on Monday, May 16th at 11 am PST.

The film debuts on Friday, May 20th.  (Yay!)

Just to get in the groove, I'm going to go Like” PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN on Facebook at:

Please enjoy the movie trailer. Then think of your favorite quote and leave it here for me.

Okay, I'll start:

Cap'n Jack Sparrow: We are very much alike, you and I, I and you... us.
Elizabeth: Oh. Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Cap'n Jack Sparrow: Trifles.
Good luck!